100 reasons to recover!!!

This post is about why I wanted to/ what I realized I gained through recovery.

1. To feel real happiness (not the false sense of " happy" I got from being "skinny")

2. Actually have energy to do life

3. To not be cold 24/7

4. Not feeling guilty when I eat

5. To gain my friends back

6. Stop constantly overthinking about food

7. For clothes to actually fit

8. No need for kids clothes

9. To not fear something I need to survive

10. Gain back strength and motivation for life

11. To be myself

12. To stop being constantly sad because of how I look

13. To eat what I want, when I want.

14. Cookie Dough <3

15. Stop comparing myself to others

16. Feel comfortable in my own body

17. Not be terrified of freaking PASTA

18. To stop counting calories... its tiring

19. No more brittle hair

20. No more pale skin

21. No more gross nails

22. Actually living in the moment

23. Being able to correctly fuel my body for sport

24. To not scream at my parents

25. To see what is happening to me clearly

26. To be able to actually have kids one day

27. For my organs to work properly

28. To not dread the next time I eat

29. To not have hide things

30. To not lie about my eating

31. To show others recovery is possible

32. Being able to eat in front of other people

33. To exercise for fun not to lose weight

34. Being in hospital isn't fun

35. Bones arn't attractive

36. No more isolation from the world, as it's actually fun

37. Not constantly weigh myself

38. Not stress if I go away somewhere where there is no scales

39. Know I'm worth more than a number

40. Eat spontaneously

41. Have a better immune system and not always get sick

42. Food is actually really yum and more enjoyable when you don't hate yourself afterwards

43. Being able to bake and actually eat the baking

44. Go out and party

45. Travel

46. No bruising from my bones rubbing against my bed

47. To have feelings and not be numb

48. Not waste so much food

49. Stop googling low calorie foods

50. Realize water weight is fat

51. Realize skin on my body isn't fat

52. Not constantly look at pictures of food that I could only imagine eating

53. Wear a swim suit with no cares of how I look

54. Low calorie food isn't tasty

55. So I don't look dead

56. Your Stronger than this disease

57. It isn't just affecting myself but hurting others around me that are seeing me suffer

58. Have my own voice in my head not anorexia telling me im worthless unless i'm skinny

59. To accept change

60. Learn I am more than my body

61. To not starve my brain

62. To not feel dizzy

63. When people ask me if im okay to say I am okay and actually mean it

64. Not feel emotionally exhausted

65. Not through tantrums anymore cause I'm not 3

66. Not slowly be rotting away

67. Understand eating is something normal

68. To not to die

69. You can recover, it is possible

70. Not always be hungry

71. A trade off between looking like a skeleton or having a life

72. No more people staring at you in disgust

73. To be confident

74. Skinny doesn't make you happy

75. Your not a number

76. To be able to say your strong enough to have beaten it

77. To be in charge of yourself

78. You'll never been thin enough but you learn to accept yourself

79. No longer be insecure

80. To smile and mean it

81. To have hot chocolate on a cold night

82. Because lollies taste better than vitamins

83. Food tastes better with sauce

84. 20 calories isn't a lot

85. Stop being selfish and learn to care for others

86. To swim and not be freezing

87. Hospital food is gross

88. To let yourself find love instead of love for being skinny

89. Being able to go on a road trip with friends and sing in the car

90. Learning carbs wont kill you

91. Enjoy summer

92. Being healthy and a nice person is more attractive

93. To not cry myself to sleep every night

94. To not cry when I eat

95. No more headaches

96. No more sore stomachs

97. To see myself for what I really am when I look in the mirror

98. To stop physically hurting myself cause I regret eating a piece of bread

99. To think rationally

100. To show I am stronger than this disease and worth living